<<set $racePassage = "You have just woken up a few days ago. Some spiritual anima lodged in your form and lo you are sapient, an agent of self-direction. Though you simultaneously have history -- you have always been this colony of moths, as well. Moths are quite fragile but you have discovered that you can adopt other insects into your colony if parts of you is depleted. You are quite small, massing only a few ounces though you have learned the trick of communicating by imitating speech with the vibration of bodyparts.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nYou woke up with strange abilities, which of these are you? A [[thief|getName][$class="thief"]], [[monk|getName][$class="monk"]], [[mage|getName][$class="mage"]], [[illusionist|getName][$class="illusionist"]] or [[cleric|getName][$class="cleric"]]?

<<set $racePassage = "You are a humanoid, standing " + (18 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6) + either(1,2,3,4,5,6) + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)) + " inches tall -- ancient kin to the gnomes of the world above. You have great " + either("pink","pale blue","all-white","glittering golden","perfectly reflective") + " saucers for eyes and thick hair that grows long and exceptionally strong. If you're a female, you've escaped from the harem compound where you were supposed to live under protection of the men-folk. You have emotional telepathy with other svirfneblin and can read the emotional state of the elemental earth around you. Your eyes attuned to the complete darkness and vulnerable to sources of light. You can also smell gems.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nDo you want to be a [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]], [[illusionist|getName][$class="illusionist"]] or [[assassin|getName][$class="assassin"]]?

<<set $racePassage = "There once was " + either("a human","a drow","a dwarf","a kuo-toa","an orc","an illithid","an animal (choose)") + " that died. Serendipitously, your spores were thick just then and colonized the meat. And in a just few ticks, you were sending strands of fiber deep into the still-warm flesh. A couple days later, you stood up, a new funghoul. Once in a while, signals from the dead thing's brain filter out into your own conciousness, but mostly that thing is gone and only you remain. You have the general form that was left behind but it is covered in patches of " + either("yellow","green","white","black","orange") + " and " + either("pink","teal","beige","luminescent") + "scale with occasional " + either("blue","red","white","black","maroon") + " " + either("ridges","frills","knobs","caps") + ". You regenerate quote slowly, regaining 1 HP per night, regardless of how much damage was done to your form. If you are severed in two, you will have lost the smaller section of tissue, though it is quite likely to rise as an independent funghoul as well. Through some mechanism, you are capable of sporing and creating more of your kind, but it is irregular and out of your control.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nThrough some unknown mechanism, you were born with the abilities of a [[cleric|getName][$class="cleric"]], [[thief|getName][$class="thief"]], or [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]].

Gotcha. But let's be a little more clear. When you say you want your new character to be <<if $size is -1>>small<<else>>large<<endif>>, do you mean [[just a little|race]] or like [[for real|race][$size=$size*2]]?\n

So, everything down here seems a little weird if you're used to surface-based elf-games. The question is, do you want to be [[a little different|size][$weird=0]] or [[pretty weird|size][$weird=1]]?\n

<<set $name to prompt("OK, what's your new character's name then?",either("Argenta","Sigmund","Juanita","Isabella","Rob","Sylvester","June") + " " + either("Renfelida","Smith","Baker","Eastwood","Calhodie","Li","St.John-Smythe"))>>OK <<print $name>>, lets see your [[character]]!\n<<if $class is "fighter">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "illusionist">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "assassin">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "cleric">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "monk">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "mage">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "druid">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $class is "thief">>\n\t<<set $stats[0] = $stats[0] + 1 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[1] = $stats[1] + 5 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[2] = $stats[2] + 4 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[3] = $stats[3] + 6 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[4] = $stats[4] + 2 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n\t<<set $stats[5] = $stats[5] + 3 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $racePassage = "You are a creature of stone, born in the furnace where molten rock periodically recedes for a few hundred years and leaves behind a patina of the earth's magic. You have been wandered for " + either(3,5,8) + " centuries, finding your way up and up through fissures and tunnels to this place where many creatures live. Over time you have taken a humanoid shape, stout and sturdy and you can feel the things inside you move. You still eat the crystals of your womb, but have also started to consume the things that living-folks do. You may hope or fear, but surely you suspect, that one day you will be a living dwarf. You stand " + (36 + either(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) + either(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) + either(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)) + " inches tall and weigh " + either(300,335,370,410) + " pounds. You are naturally armored as if wearing chain; do not age; can go without food, water or air for up to a year; and get a +5 when resisting the effects of any unwelcome chemical agent. You also require three times the experience points to level.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nDo you want to be a [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]], [[cleric|getName][$class="cleric"]] or [[monk|getName][$class="monk"]]?

<<set $racePassage = "Ebon skinned elf-kin, drawn out of the light of your ancestral forest home by the warped message of Lolth, you were raised in a strictly heirarchical society of matriarchs, pain and poison. The majority of your kind are slaves to the elite few, little better than members of the other races and in many cases inferior to valuable aliens. " + either("Your family were once powerful priests, but suffered in a political pogrom and were cast down.","You belong to a long line of hereditory slaves and somehow managed to run off.","Your auntie offered you to an illithid houseguest as a snack and you decided it was time to visit the countryside.","You rose, disfigured, from the chalice of the demonweb during the Festival of Thirteen Midnights. A gift from Lolth, the priests could not slay you, but everyone is uncomfortable in your presence.") + "And now, here you are, traveling with these...people.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nDo you want to be a [[cleric|getName][$class="cleric"]], [[mage|getName][$class="mage"]], [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]] or [[druid|getName][$class="druid"]]?

<<print $name>> the <<print $race>> <<print $class>>\nStr-<<print $stats[0]>>, Int-<<print $stats[1]>>, Wis-<<print $stats[2]>>, Dex-<<print $stats[3]>>, Con-<<print $stats[4]>>, Cha-<<print $stats[5]>>\n\n<<print $racePassage>>

OK, so your last character bit it and you're like five miles below the surface and ain't no way your party is heading up? We've got you covered -- you can just create a character down here.\n\nI don't know what game you're playing, so just take the character that this little tool creates for you and do whatever little tweaks you need to, to make it right for you. It shouldn't be too hard if your game involves dragons and dungeons and killing people and taking their stuff.\n\n[[Super, I'm in the right place!|realStart]]

OK, you are:\n<<if $weird is 0>>\n\t<<if $size is -2>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "svirfneblin">>[[a svirfneblin|svirfneblin]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [1,6,4,3,2,5]>>\n\t<<else if $size is -1>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "deep dwarf">>[[a deep dwarf|deepDwarf]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [5,2,4,3,6,1]>>\n\t<<else if $size is 1>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "drow">>[[a drow|drow]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [2,6,3,4,1,5]>>\n\t<<else if $size is 2>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "orca">>[[an orca|orca]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [5,1,3,4,6,2]>>\n\t<<endif>>\n<<else>>\n\t<<if $size is -2>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "moth baby">>[[a moth baby|mothBaby]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [1,3,2,6,5,4]>>\n\t<<else if $size is -1>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "salaman">>[[a salaman|salaman]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [1,5,6,3,4,2]>>\n\t<<else if $size is 1>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "funghoul">>[[a funghoul|funghoul]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [6,2,2,3,6,2]>>\n\t<<else if $size is 2>>\n\t\t<<set $race = "morphula">>[[a morphula|morphula]]\n\t\t<<set $stats = [either(1,2,3,4,5,6),either(1,2,3,4,5,6),either(1,2,3,4,5,6),either(1,2,3,4,5,6),either(1,2,3,4,5,6),either(1,2,3,4,5,6)]>>\n\t<<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n

<<set $racePassage = "You come from a cavern into which a great plume of water jets from above, cascading a thousand feet into the floor, below. Fungi coat the walls, tiny gnats fly in the eddies of air and blind fish swim free; all sources of food for your people. You descend from millions of years of cave newts and your people have just recently been exposed to the outside world when a crack opened in the wall, leading to alien venues and destroying the ancient philosophic understanding of the world as a single cavern. You are four feet long and have traded with drow and dwarves to amass a bare material culture -- the accoutrement of the adventurer. You are amphibeous and particularly skilled at climbing sheer surfaces, but vulnerable to salt-water dehydration. (If you are playing in a system that permits multi-classing, you should do so as widely as possible.)">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nHave you taken up the initial trade of the: [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]], [[mage|getName][$class="mage"]], [[thief|getName][$class="thief"]] or [[druid|getName][$class="druid"]]?

<<set $racePassage = "You are a shape-changer who can slide through cracks in the earth, adopt the shape of foreigners in order to pass among them, even to the point of being able to reproduce, and pass as known individuals. It's a handy set of abilites but comes with many limitations. Your mass is " + (100 + either(20,40,60,80,100) + either(5,6,7,8) + either(0,1,2,3)) + " pounds and you are limited to forms that can pass with that much body. Further, your transmogrification is very slow, taking up to three days to accomplish a full and very specific change and while you can move about as an amorphous blob, that too is very slow, on the order of thirty feet per day.">><<print $racePassage>>\n\nWhich of these ways of life have you adopted: [[assassin|getName][$class="assassin"]], [[illusionist|getName][$class="illusionist"]], [[thief|getName][$class="thief"]], [[mage|getName][$class="mage"]] or [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]]?

Untitled Story

Anonymous

<<set $racePassage = "When your kind burst from the dens deep in the earth where you gestate, onto the surface to take and hold or destroy what you can not, the people up there think you're all these different races: goblins, orcs, ogres and more. Bullshit. You're the orca -- gnawing hunger brought to life, serving entropy and living large. Once in a generation, someone like you crawls from a pit and leaves the comfort of the den. You hear the wailing of carnage in your blood but you are in control of it and your curiosity about the world is stronger. You are small now, just " + (36 + either(3,6,9,12) + either(1,2,3,4)) + "inches tall. But with each level, you will grow another 1d8 inches and every time you reach another foot of height, you gain a point of strength. At any time, you can permanently spend a point of strength to succeed in some crazy physical feat. You must earn 1.5 * normal experience to level." >><<print $racePassage>>\n\nYou can only be a [[fighter|getName][$class="fighter"]].

Sure, no problem!\n\nThings down here -- things that make reasonable player-characters, I mean; tend to be smaller than on the surface. So humans, for instance are considered biggish. Do you want to play something [[smallish|sizeRefinement][$size=-1]] or [[biggish|sizeRefinement][$size=1]]?